Enjoying Love

For many years I have ridiculed a pleasure-based love… ‘People only love because it makes them happy…” How fickle, I thought.  And it’s evidenced by so many marriages going the way of all flesh, isn’t it?  Feelings of pleasure fade – and so does the love.  There is no commitment.  People only love because of what they get out of it.  But isn’t that why you love God?  Because of what He did for you and for what He offers.

What is love?  If love is the concern for the happiness of another, then isn’t it natural to want to love someone that brings you pleasure?  Certainly.  It’s illogical to think that someone would want to love another who would never reciprocate.  Love – even unselfish love – seeks a measure of fulfillment and joy.  It’s not wrong – as long as we don’t allow that to become the only time we love.  Commitment is the skeleton of love; the emotion of joy is the soft, warm flesh that covers the cold, hard bone of choice.

Love is absolutely an emotion.  Remember what it was like to be a young adult and to fall in love. Do you remember what it was like to have fond thoughts of that other person, that first crush?  Then your parents went and ruined it all by saying… “You’re not allowed to like anyone. You hear me?!”  Did it work?  Could you turn it off just like that?  No.  BUT like all other emotions, which are fed by your thoughts, the less you would think of that person, the less you would like / love them.

Love is a choice.  For some, the emotion and romance of love is a far-distant memory in their relationship.  Commitment is a huge part of love, so when the joy of love fades, cold commitment is all that is left.  Love has become nothing more than a duty, a responsibility.  Love has been reduced to a choice – one where we choose the good of another over yourself.  One of sacrifice, even when feelings push against it.  Love has lost all its joy and has now become the antithesis of emotion.  Every relationship in life is vulnerable to this corruption:  Men and women lose their romance in marriage.  Hobbies lose their luster, favorite teams disappoint.  Church members, once dedicated and involved, end up coming to church only when they are necessary, doing what is minimally expected.  Christians lose their drive to be near their Savior and stop reading the Bible, stop praying, stop giving, stop witnessing…

In order to have joy, you must love.
In order to love, you must have joy.

Love and joy are inter-dependent.  You cannot truly have one without the other.  Our eternal example is within the Trinity (3-in-1, with nothing else, in complete fellowship (love) and completely satisfied (joy)).  We need a re-program in this area… that we should NEVER separate love and joy.  It’s a two-part epoxy.  They are closer than PB&J.  They don’t just sing the same song, they only sing duets… never solo. Need I remind you of the first two fruit of the Spirit… Love and joy!

Some might argue from 1 Cor. 13:5 that love and pleasure do not go together, but I’d like to respectfully disagree!  Love cares deeply about the pleasure of others above my own.  But that doesn’t mean that I’m not pleased.  Why would I care about someone else’s pleasure?  Because it pleases me to care.  I enjoy seeing them smile / happy.  It gives me joy to give them joy.  In reality, love is the overflow of joy.

Someone has compared it to air… imagine that Bill is a high-pressure zone.  He is full of joy (we’ll talk about where he got that joy in a sec).  But he’s full – needle’s in the red!  He’s fulfilled, he’s happy, he’s joyful, he’s pleased.  Then he runs into Rhonda who is sad.  She’s disappointed, she’s unhappy, she’s empty.  She’s a low-pressure zone.  Love is the transfer of joy.  It makes the connection to transfer pleasure from Bill to Rhonda.  Got it?

Love is joy in action, but it is not simply action only.

Paul was clear, I could give, sacrifice, even die for others… but without the emotion of love, it would be empty.  Acts of service and kindness are only a part of love – they are not the essence of love.  A simple example – so many husbands get home from work, dirty and tired, after stopping at the bank to deposit their check just in time to cover all the family bills… only to be met with the question from an insecure wife: “Honey, do you love me?”  He blows up… ‘What!?! Of course.  Look at all I do… I provide for you all… etc.”  He has assumed that the act of love is the skeleton… without the warm flesh of emotional love, it seems so cold and dead.  She has forgotten that underneath the warm fuzzy of emotion is the high cost of sacrificial love in action.

“You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving”  - Amy Carmichael

This is a tremendous danger is your spiritual lives as well.  Religion emphasizes the actions.  Your Christianity is a relationship that must be nurtured.  Many churches fall into a performance-based love and acceptance of people.  If you don’t get involved, then your value is low. We can get the cart before the horse.  Let me say, though that the cart and horse are both necessary.  Feelings are not enough – love requires action.  Your relationship with Christ should move you to active religion (James 1:27 – meeting needs of orphans, widows, etc.).  Remember what 2 Cor. 9:7 says…?  God’s loves a cheerful giver (a person who loves out of joy).

How to get your joy (of loving) back:

Love God. Engage heart, soul, mind, and strength.  God has no needs, He’s a high-pressure zone… so every time you get near Him, He fills you up!  Be concerned with what pleases Him with your life.  Live by faith, trust Him (Hebrews 11:6a).  Joy comes from God and if I’m far from God, I will not be able to have what He offers (Ps 16:11).  Happiness comes from happenings, but true fulfillment comes from being full.  Achievements might satisfy for a time, we might preoccupy our minds with earthly pleasures for a season, but eventually we realize we need a drink.  Remember the woman at the well?  She took a drink that became a river of water within.  True joy is in God alone.  Not what He gives us, but who He is to us.  Nurture that relationship by loving Him every way you can and real joy will follow.  Guaranteed.

Love Mercy.  Micah 6:8 says to love mercy. A major key to getting you joy back is reversing the choice-based, performance-oriented emphasis on love.  In order to do that, we’ve got to see how that God loved us when we were unlovely.  Re-centering on grace will fix this every time.  It will recreate in us a gracious love that not only gives joy to others, but also restores our own joy as well. Loving mercy is learning to appreciate grace.  Grace experienced leads to grace expressed.  The woman who poured out her precious perfume on Jesus’ feet did so because she understood forgiveness.  Truth is, the reason we are not forgiving and gracious is because we haven’t properly applied grace and forgiveness to our souls!  Think about the enormity of what God did – He didn’t just overlook your ‘mistakes’ – He totally swallowed your death-pill and then adopted you into His family, to sit at His table, to share His things.  That is the manner in which we should love others (Eph. 4:32)! If you ever do the math, it might seems we like you give more than we get.  The ration is often as much as 2:1 – and we don’t like to feel like we’re being taken advantage of. And we forget the invisible ratio – the Heavenly account – which is often as much as 100:1.  Allow God’s grace to reproduce grace toward others in you.

Love Someone who has nothing to offer you in return.  Nothing brings happiness (horizontal joy) back to you faster than taking it to someone else.  Meet the need of a stranger.  Help the helpless.  Visit the lonely. Lift up the fallen.  Heal the hurting. Don’t lose sight of Acts 20:35: It’s more blessed to give than to receive (joy comes more from giving than from getting). Rom 15:1-2 commands us to help the hurting and bear our neighbor’s burdens.  To please them.  But, again, this isn’t that you are not pleased.  In fact, Jesus is a great example of this (vs 3).  He endured so much to please His Father.  Yet Hebrews 12:2 says that He did it for another reason… “for the joy set before Him.”  There is always a joy set before you – the question is: Do you see it?  The joy of loving God, the joy of loving mercy, the joy of loving others.

Enjoying Worship

True worshippers worship God in spirit & in truth… John 4:24

Worship begins with our HEART

The word “spirit” in Jn 4:24 is not referring to the Holy Spirit – it has to do with your heart (emotions, feelings, affections).  Worship is extravagant LOVE (meaning: ‘to kiss at’).  We love Him because He first loved us (1 Jn 4:19) – our love is both responsive and reflective.  Mark 12:30 says God gave us emotions to use for His glory – just like He gave you a body and  mind.

Worship is INCLUSIVE, not exclusive.  I say this because so many people are so definitive of the ‘How’s’ / ‘How-Not-To’s.’ The book of Psalms mentions many ways to worship God but these are in no way the boundaries of true worship.  It is not limited to – but starting with…  *Posture: kneel, on face, standing upright, dancing;  *Music: only 10 instruments of praise are listed in Psalms;  *Voice: singing, shouting;  *Hands: raised, clapping…  I’ve asked this before, but what if an alien read the Bible and saw your church & a mosque thru the windows… which would he judge is more biblical by the way we worship?  Also - Sunday is just one day, 11-12 is just one hour… worship must be a lifestyle!

It’s possible to worship God in VAIN (Matt. 15:8-9). How? Heartless worship – Engaged mouth, disengaged emotions. But what if you don’t feel anything?  Can’t just force the emotions… can you? No.  The only thing that moves the heart is a greater pleasure  (compare late-life biographies of Lewis / Darwin).  Usually the joy/romance fades over time – thru external forces (not enough alone time).

#1 Enemy of Worship: sense of DUTY; ignoring the PRIZE.  Heb 11:6 says faith is believing God is & coming to Him for reward.  It’s not wrong to be motivated by desire / drive / delight (Ps 37:4).

Worship must include our HONESTY

The “truth” mentioned in Jn 4:24 isn’t God’s truth – it’s yours.  It’s being truthful &  genuine about your own condition.  Worshiping God without compulsion or facade.  Here are 3 Stages of Honesty in our Worship:  **find where you are**

A. WHY?  - barrenness / darkness / emptiness – Ps. 73:21-22
We can find ourselves hopelessly discouraged & depressed, being in a place w/o a song (like when the Jews hung their harps in the willows).  Christ endured this place for 3 hours… alone.  Being honest means that we might have to repent, accept responsibility.

B. WHEN?  - longing / desire / confusion – Ps. 42:5
Being honest means we might have to keep waiting and dealing w/ heartache… Most of Psalms written from this stage! Jesus said that those who hunger & thirst for righteousness will be fed.

C. WOW!  - gratitude / wonder / satisfaction – Ps. 63:5
These moments are more rare than we’d like – but the possibility of another fuels us on to endure the first two stages.

Enjoying Salvation

Joy is built-into & a natural by-product of salvation. If you are not enjoying your salvation, there’s a specific reason…
3 Reasons People Don’t Enjoy Their Salvation:

They aren’t really saved!

God knows I’m NOT being judgmental or critical – let me just read a few vss and you tell me…  Matt 7:13-14  says that salvation is a narrow path and few will find it.  Matt 7:21, 23 continues: many unbelievers say ‘Lord’ (it’s easier to call Him Savior than Lord) and still be unsaved. Implying salvation is more than a confession / profession! THe parable of the wheat and tares (Matt 13:24-25, 30, 37) is about lost people in churches. Jesus said that there are some in your church and the Angels will sort it out and pull them from among us and throw them into Hell.

I think it’s important that we think about what it is that keeps people from Heaven? Rom 3:23 says sin is falling short of God’s glorious perfection. Praying a little prayer and believing in Jesus/cross as a historical person/event isn’t enough to undo that lack of glory and perfection. Salvation involves faith, yes, but in no way does it stop there.  Salvation is more than believing… it is: confession (Romans), repentance (Acts), commitment (John), application (James).  I’m not preaching works-salvation. It is not by works… I’m actually emphasizing grace more than most do.  Many who say it boils down to a ‘sinners prayer’ will trust in that prayer and experience to get them to Heaven.  But:

Jesus + ANYTHING = False Gospel (leads to Hell).  Jesus + NOTHING = True Gospel (leads to Heaven).

Give yourself a little test:If you plug  your ears at talk of Hell you might not be a Christian! If you quit fighting against sinful habits and hold on you might not be a Christian.  If you enjoy people of the world (unbelievers) more than family of God then you might not be a Christian.  If you don’t feel conviction when you hear preaching / read God’s word then you might not be a Christian.

They have forgotten because of SIN!

We must deal with all our unconfessed sin & unresolved offenses.  Sin is a joy-zapper / corrosive / acidic – adds guilt, pain, shame (prevents new joys).  After David’s sin w Bathsheba… He prayed for forgiveness (confession) and for restoration (joy) – see Ps. 51:10-12.  If we regard (knowingly allow) iniquity in our heart, the Lord will NOT hear us (Ps 66:18).

If sin is clouding your joy:
1 Confess to God (for cleansing)
2 Confess to another (an offense / trespass) for assurance & for accountability.

They don’t understand how awesome salvation truly is!

I’d like to overwhelm you with salvations greatness (Heb. 2:3)!  Keep in mind that 5 sec after you were saved… these 4 dozen things about you were changed forever:

13 Permanent Changes to Your Standing with God:
spiritual death removed                          Rom. 5:12; 6:23; Jn. 5:24
wrath removed                                       Jn. 3:36; Rom. 5:9-10; Eph. 2:3; 5:6
spiritual blindness removed                   2 Cor. 4:3-4
spiritual alienation removed                  Eph. 2:12-15, 19; Rom. 5:6
enmity removed                                  Rom. 5:10; Col. 1:21; Eph. 2:15-16
condemnation removed                         Rom. 8:1-3; 5:16-18
unrighteousness removed                             Rom. 3:10, 22-24; 10:10
transferred from spiritual darkness         Col. 1:13-14; Eph. 5:8; Acts 26:18
freed from the curse of the law                  Gal. 3:10-13; Rom. 10:4
freed from the slave market of sin             Gal. 4:7; 5:1, 13; Rom. 6:6-9, 17-20; Jn. 8:34-36
natural man status changed                          1 Cor. 2:12-14; 15:45-46; Jude 19
perishing status changed                       Jn. 3:16; 10:28; 1 Cor. 1:18; 15:17-18; 2 Cor. 2:15
sinner status changed                             Rom. 5:8, 12, 19; 1 Tim. 1:15

You’ve been made…
holy brethren                                       Eph. 3:15; Heb. 2:9-12; 1 Thes. 1:4
child of God                                         Jn. 1:12-13; Gal. 3:26; Rom. 8:14-16; 1 Jn. 5:1-5
son of Light                                        Jn. 1:4-9; 1 Jn.1:5-7; Eph. 5:8-9
child of promise                              Rom. 9:8-9; Gal. 3:7-29;  4:28-31
first born                                            Heb 1:6; 12:23; Rom. 8:29; Col. 1:15-18; Rev. 1:5
accepted in the beloved                    Rom. 1:7; Eph. 1:6; Col. 3:12; Eph. 5:1-2
new creation                               2 Cor. 5:17; Col. 3:10
elect/chosen/called                            Eph. 1:4; Col. 3:12
righteous                                            2 Cor. 5:21; Rom. 3:22-35; 5:21; 1 Jn. 2:1
possessor of eternal life                       Jn. 11:25-27; 20:31; 1 Jn. 5:11-13
ambassador                              2 Cor. 5:18-20; Eph. 6:20
priest                                          1 Pet. 2:5, 9; Rev. 1:6; Heb. 7:12
joint-heir of an inheritance                       Rom. 8:17; Gal. 4:7; Heb. 1:2
heavenly citizenship                      Phil. 3:20; Heb. 13:23
saint                                         Rom. 1:7; Col. 1:2; 3:12; 1 Cor. 1:2
member of body of Christ         1 Cor. 12:12-27; Eph. 1:22-23; 5:23,30
bond-slave to Christ                     1 Cor. 7:22-23; Gal. 1:10; Eph. 6:6-8; 1 Pet. 2:16
living stone                                  1 Pet. 2:4-8; 1 Cor. 3:9, 16; Eph. 2:19-22

Because of Jesus’ blood, you were given these 9 things:
redemption                                                      1 Pet. 1:18-19; Heb. 9:12; 1 Cor. 6:20; Eph. 1:7
reconciliation                                     2 Cor. 5:17-19; Col. 1:20; Eph. 2:16
justification                                        Rom. 5:1, 8-9, 18
sanctification                                     1 Cor. 1:2, 30; Heb. 10:10, 29; Col. 1:22
propitiation                                        Rom. 3:24-26; 1 Jn. 2:2; 4:10
forgiveness                                         Eph. 1:7; 4:32; Heb. 9:22
cleansing                                              1 Jn. 1:7-9; Heb. 9:14
new covenant                                     Lu. 22:20; 1 Cor. 11:25; Heb. 12:24
victory in the angelic conflict            Rev. 12:10-11

By the Holy Spirit, You were given these 9 things:
regeneration                                           Jn. 3:1-8; Tit. 3:5
spiritual life                                            Eph. 2:5; Rom. 8:9-11; Gal. 5:16; 2 Cor. 2:16
sealed & baptized                            Eph. 1:13; 2 Cor. 1:22
earnest  (down-payment)                            2 Cor. 1:22; Eph. 1:14
spiritual gift                                           1 Cor. 12:11; 1 Cor. 12:4-31; Rom. 12:6-8
indwelling of the Holy Spirit              1 Cor. 6:19-20; Gal. 3:1-3; Rom. 8:9; Eph. 2:22
access to God                                Eph. 2:13, 18; Heb. 4:14-16; 10:21-22
spiritual adoption                                         Rom. 8:14-17; Gal. 4:4-6; Eph. 1:5; Heb. 12:8

Enjoying God

Take a trip with me… 300 miles x 75 mph = 4 hours. So if we leave at noon, we should arrive promptly at four… yeah right!  I didn’t figure on Cincinnati traffic, on hungry kids, on 3 bathroom breaks, or that I forgot to get gas, and that the outlet malls needed our business!!  Things outside of our control bring stress – they zap our pleasure.  But this is nothing like God!

Some people (parents, spouses, friends) have expectations of us that, if we fail to live up to, we disappoint and cause pain.  We affect their level of pleasure by our mistakes and/or sinfulness.  God is not that kind of parent, friend, companion.  He knows that we have/will fall short and yet that doesn’t disturb his pleasure.  Is can still work all things for good.  He can still overwhelm our sinful state with grace.  He can and will get glory in those situations.  He’s good like that!

God is a God of Pleasure – in Himself (Who He Is & What He Does & What We Do)

Why is God so Happy?

>>HIS PLANS ARE GOOD  He alone is God – this is going to be difficult to comprehend since all else falls short.  Nothing can stand in the way of His pleasure (because what He plans always happens).  He is never conflicted about his decisions (whether they are right or if will people like them).  Many times, we are stuck living according to others’ plans… but not God! Never!  Nothing can frustrate his plans – so He never gets frustrated! He knows what to expect!  *see Isaiah 46:9-11 – God is Sovereign (in complete control) & Does All He Enjoys

>>HIS POWER IS GREAT  He has never been forced to do anything he didn’t enjoy (even the cross Isa 53:10).  Absolute power – absolutely uncorrupted.  He can’t be bought with any price, He will only do what is right and good (no pseudo-agenda).  *see Ps 115:3 – He is Omnipotent & Does Whatever He Enjoys & Ps 135:5-6ff – Whatever He Wants, He Gets (creation-nature, kingdoms-peoples)

>>HIS PERSON IS GOD  He has enjoyed eternal satisfaction within Himself – with no lack, no need.  *see Matt 17:5 – God is Happy with Himself – in the Trinity, never lonely  & Acts 17:25 – Need is the absence of pleasure — ‘Need’ is a creature word – never associated with God!

Does God Want Me to Be Happy?

God Cares More about Your Pleasure than You Do!
The chief end of man is to glorify God by enjoying Him forever.
God is most glorified in me when I am most satisfied in Him.
- from Desiring God, John Piper:

1. The longing to be happy is a universal human desire, it is God-given, good, not sinful.  We were created for pleasure (Rev 4:11) – along with everything in creation… the bees, the birds, the fish, the wild stallion… all to run, to swim, to fly and glorify God.  But we were given more than instinct, we were given a choice… as the crown of creation, we were given food, tasks, power, companionship, protection, and God blessed them… it was good!  In the NT, His pleasure is the source, the means, and the end of grace.  It is what makes Him happy!  We have grace because God is good and that is what He wants!  (seen in the garden of Eden before sin & temptation)
2. We should never try to deny or resist our longing to be happy, as though it were a bad impulse. Instead, we should seek to intensify this longing and nourish it with whatever will provide the deepest and most enduring satisfaction.  It has been said that the same thing that drives a man to drink also drives him to God.  (John 4- Woman at the Well)  This is most certainly true.  We all long for more, for love, for fulfillment, for change.  Yet we come to plateaus, to roadblocks, to loneliness, to hopelessness.  So we choose to give up (escape, run, etc) or to pursue pleasure even harder (addictions or adoration).  At this point some turn to a drink, a needle, a prostitute… others turn to God.  Too often, we think we can’t be happy for God to be happy.  It doesn’t have to be that way, Christianity doesn’t have to be sour apples and pickle juice, serving Jesus shouldn’t be frowns and trials all day long… But we must realize that every earthly pleasure is either a reflecting God’s glory or stealing it.  It is either bringing pleasure to God or stealing it away from God.  (Rom 3:23)
3. The deepest and most enduring happiness is found only in God. Not from God, but in God. (not just in what God does or gives, but in who God is)  If Ps 16:11 is true… Our level of joy is an indication of our nearness to God.  The closer you are to God, the more joy you have.  God’s ‘right hand’ is Jesus & His throne.  To have pleasures eternal, we must yield to Christ’s authority in our lives!  Spending time with God, entering into his presence, submitting to his control in life, in decisions, in relationships… that’s where the joy is!  Is there pleasure is sin – yes, but for a season.  It’s short-lived and leaves us with the pit in our stomach, the desire for a little more, the craving for another… it never satisfies.  But God can.  God does.
4. To the extent that we try to abandon the pursuit of our own pleasure, we fail to honor God & love people. ~or~ The pursuit of pleasure is a necessary part of all worship and virtue.  We are created to glorify God… can any of us do this without finding pleasure in Him?  Can we truly worship Him without finding joy in Him?  No, it is impossible.  Your happiness is forever connected to your worship.  You cannot glorify what you do not enjoy.  Emotionless worship is not worship at all. Finney said: ‘God uses the emotions to engage the will (which is in neutral).’

Challenge:
To seek the pleasure of God.
To find the purposes of God.
To praise God with our lives and our lips.
To understand that every pleasure of earth is either a reflection or a substitute of God’s supply of joy for you.