How Do I Deal with My Anger?

Article by Richard Travelstead

The manifestations of the emotion of anger are numerous.  Some of these are obvious and include: a red face, bloodshot eyes, stomach muscles squeezing down.  But that is only half the story: The entire digestive tract becomes spastic, trig­gering severe abdominal pains; the heart rate goes up markedly…the coronary arteries squeeze down hard enough to produce angina or even a fatal coronary.

“He that is slow to wrath (Slow to Anger) is of great understanding (Wise): but he that is hasty (Quick to Anger) of spirit exalteth folly (Shows Foolishness).”

No wonder the Bible counsels: “Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.” (Psalm 37:8).  Yet we say: “Don’t fret?—in this day and age?? Surely the Bible is kidding us.”  But wait!  There’s more: “Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.” (Eccl. 7:9).  We reply: “But you don’t understand.  If you lived where I did you’d be stirred up too.”  And the Bible replies, calmly, soothingly, like a mother’s voice: “He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.” (Proverbs 14:29).  In spite of these excellent prescriptions from God’s words, millions of us allow ourselves to get entangled with anger every day.  Even our speech is dangerous: “She makes me sick!”  “He burns me up!”  “I really blew my stack” and the coup de grace: “I could kill him!”

Overt Anger
This is serious, for bitter and hasty words are often emotional preparation for the most fearsome acts.  Je­sus had to severely correct two of his own disciples for a vindictive hot-tempered attitude towards a despised ethnic group (Luke 9:51-56).  A common misconception is that all anger is wrong.  It isn’t.  Jesus himself got angry.  He was angry when he cleared the money changers from the Temple (John 2:13-17).  He was angry at the stubborn Phari­sees in Matthew 23.  But this was controlled anger.  “Be ye angry, and sin not:” Paul taught, “let not the sun go down upon your wrath” (Ephesians 4:26).  But most anger we see about us today is sin.  People blow­ing up after the drip-drop-drip of petty annoyances.  Husband’s retaliating at wives, bosses “dumping” on their subordinates, mother’s frustrated with their children and most common Road Rage.  That is overt anger, easy to spot and—hopefully—possible to avoid.

Latent Anger
There is also another kind of anger that comes from slow, simmering attitudes deep inside.  This is latent anger and resentment, a festering kind of attitude that may take a long time coming to the surface.  This is why Judas Iscariot, with his critical, resentful spirit, was not suspected by the other disciples of harboring bitter­ness.  Or why, in our time, apparently ordinary people, passed over for promotion or frustrated in some other way, bring a gun to work or school and go on a mur­dering rampage.
Anger is emotional preparation for murder.  This is what Jesus labeled it (Matthew 5:21-22).  The conse­quences can be hidden.  “Depression at every phase of its development,” wrote neurologist Mortimer Ostow, “includes a component of anger, whether visible or invisible.”  We all need help in navigating our way through the stresses and strains of a world tearing at us, a world seemingly designed to make us angry.

Here are five principles that can help:
1 Pray fervently when we see bitterness and resentment rising up inside us. We can thank God for showing us our wrong thought patterns.  Sin begins in the mind.  That’s why we Christians are to renew our minds in Jesus Christ (Ro­mans 12:2).  That is a lifelong task. God the Holy Spirit will help us when we turn to him for help.

2  Keep the big picture of human existence in mind. It’s always good to ask: Will this really matter in 5 years or 100 years from now?  And what if our adversary died and we had a grudge on our conscience?  What then?  Peter gave good advice: “For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it” (1 Peter 3:10-11).

3  Try sincerely to see the other person’s point of view.  This is empathy, and oh, how rare it is today!  Consider our Great Example—Jesus Christ.  What did it take to say, Then said Jesus, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34), while they drove nails through his hands and feet?  Meditating on this can leave us properly humbled and allow the fresh breezes of humility to cool the fires of anger.

4  Pray for your adversary. Nothing is more diametrically opposite to the human spirit, is it?  But it is our human spirit of anger and hostility that often gets us into so many scrapes.  The apostle Paul wrote about the coals of fire treatment.  Read it in Romans 12:20.  Perhaps a simple card, a note, a sincere apology, a small gift or a simple resolve to treat the would-be opponent as a friend rather than an enemy could make all the difference in the world.  Christians are not to retaliate in kind.  They are learning to walk the hard and stony path that replaces evil with good.  This is tough, but Jesus never said it would be easy, and He did offer help along the way.

5  Keep our spiritual vision clear. In the midst of severe ten­sions and conflicts, when we are tempted to respond in kind, we must remember:  God is the God of justice.  God is on His throne and He Has a way of evening things up, sometimes even in this life.  The patriarch Joseph was a living example of this when he ended up with life-and-death power over the brothers who had sold him into slavery (Genesis 42:1-20).  God is our ultimate shelter against the tides of anger that threaten to engulf us.  Jesus, our Peace, lives in us, and with that assurance, our victory over anger is a sure thing.

Often when we think of addictions we think of Drugs and Alcohol.  I put to you though that Anger is one of the most destructive.  It destroys families, friendships and most importantly it has a seriously detrimental affect on our spiritual relationship with our Lord.  Anger in many of us is an ingrained behavior.  It is one of Satan’s most productive tools.  When we are showing the symptoms of anger we are rebuking God, and certainly not emitting God’s light through us to others.  Rest assured nothing makes Satan any happier

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